34 Year Old Man Realises Nothing Will Ever be as Good as Necromunda

Toby Jackson, 34 of Essex UK, has come to the realisation that nothing in life will ever be as good as the 1995 Game Workshop Sci-Fi Skirmish game Necromunda.

The Greatest Box Cover Art of all time.

"I used to play Necromunda every weekend when I was a school.  I spent so many hours levelling up my gangs"  said Toby "I have now realised that I have spent my entire adult life trying to recapture that thrill and excitement."

"I remember the day I left school and passed my GSCE's with flying colours.  It was great but it wasn't quite as good as the time I took out my friends Goliath leader in the first turn with a well placed Boltgun shot" Toby remembered misty-eyed.  "The day I met my wife was one of the best days of my life, but it couldn't match when my first Juve levelled up to be a Ganger."

"Our wedding day was obviously beautiful"  Mr Jackson continued "but not quite as beautiful as the time my Van Saar gang managed to win a four-way gang fight only taking one casualty," said Toby wiping a tear from his eye.  "I cried when my first child was born of course, but not nearly as much as when my Van Saar leader died after levelling his up for two and a half years."

Mr Jackson could barely hold back the tears as he finished "I guess I have had a good life...but I still think of that Van Saar gang everyday.  I really miss those guys."

40K player still angry about Age of Sigmar for some reason

Warhammer 40,000 player Ian Cooper is still incandescent with rage that Games Workshop changed Warhammer Fantasy Battles to Warhammer:  Age of Sigmar despite it being a year and a half since the change.

A Stormcast Eternal that Ian still calls a Sigmarine.

"Why would they do this to me?" Ian said recently "Why would they change a game that I barely ever played?  People loved Warhammer Fantasy Battles, not me mind, I only ever played it once and found it a bit stale, but some people loved that game apparently!"  

Mr Cooper, 29, was so angry about the update of the game he was physically shaking as he spoke.  "Four pages of rules!? It's almost as if they are trying to make the game appeal to children!"  Ian said while spending his Christmas money on some new plastic toy soldiers.  "Surely it's not a real game unless you have to cross reference between three to four different books to field one army!"

"I obviously make my feelings known online about Age of Sigmar"  Ian continued "I even joined the Age of Sigmar fan page on Facebook just to talk smack about it to the people that play it.  This has to be the best way to get people to come and play 40k with me right?" 

When asked if he had even played Age of Sigmar Mr Cooper got defensive "Well, I haven't actually played it but I have read the rules and all the Warscrolls - that Games Workshop have provided for free - and I just felt so cheated.  Why are Games Workshop being so selfish and greedy?"

When asked if Games Workshop will take 40k  in a similar direction to Age of Sigmar Ian burst into a fit of rage and began to explain that he would leave the game behind and play something else if GW did such a thing.  "...but that would bring new people into the game of 40k,  that's the last thing we need!"  he said while storming out of the room.

Games Workshop were contacted but refused to comment...obviously.

Painter in mourning after spilling new pot of Agrax Earthsade

Avid miniature painter Andrew Livingstone suffered a major lose this week after he knocked over a freshly opened bottle of Citadel Agrax Earthshade.

An example of the devastation 

Andrew, 28, said "I have seen the pictures on Facebook pages and stuff but never thought it would ever happen to me."  Mr Livingstone, who was half way through painting a Khorne Bloodbound army when the accident occurred added  "I once knocked one of the old pots of Shade but it didn't actually spill but the new tall pots may as well be especially designed to tip over."

Andrew was at home at the time of the incident but didn't waste anytime in sharing the news.  "There was so much mess,  those new pots have so much paint in it was like a brown tidal wave had hit my painting table.  But obviously before I cleaned it up though I took a few pictures of it on my phone and shared them on all the gaming forums, Facebook pages, the WhatsApp group message for my gaming mates and text everyone else I knew.  The support has been amazing.  It's amazing to find out how many other people have also been through this kind of trauma."

Andrew Livingstone was last seen counting the pennies at the counter of his local Games Workshop Store desperately trying to buy a replacement bottle of Agrax Earthshade.

Games Workshop were contacted but refused to comment...obviously.